This is basically a rough draft I'll continue editing it with time.
I grew up in Arkansas. When I was a kid, I had doubts about the religious path that my parents seemed to placed their faith in. They took me to a pentecostal church where I pretty quickly decided I did not want to continue attending. The man behind the pulpit was screaming about how there "are no doors in heaven, there are no secrets in heaven." Even as a young kid I've always held my privacy precious. I had questions about life such as "Why and how are we even here?" "What are we doing here?," and I was told that these are questions that you aren't supposed to ask.
When I was in high school my stepfather went to jail. I was staying the night at a friends house and my mother came to pick me up and told me. I was so happy. My siblings and I weren't allowed to dye our hair, pierce our ears or anything else that would have us considered "gay" by small town America. I distinctly remember worrying that my mother was the only one carrying the household, but we were ecstatic with our new found freedom. I believe he spent a few months there and we made it without him, and when he got released he started coming around and making promises about everything he would be doing differently. I never believed that he wouldn't be sitting around on the couch ordering someone to make him some sweet tea, or that he would be washing the dishes or mowing the lawn (things he started to do at this time to "show how he had changed.") He had also decided that a refocus on religion was the path that would save him and the family. After a short few weeks he was allowed back in the house, but I refused to talk to him for months. He has always had a spectacular ability to speak to people (remind you of another infamous mustached man?) and before long we were back in the same routine that we'd always been in with the new exception that now we were required to go to church every Sunday.
I've always had a special connection with music. It's the most amazing thing that people do in my opinion. When someone uses an object to create music as a bridge from the tactile world to the soul, it's exactly like they take an empty space and fill it with colors and paint a picture for you that can heal you, excite you, make you sad, and mentally take you to another place.
I would stay up late at night listening to the local music the radio station played (this is where I first heard Evanescence, and knew they would be famous immediately.) One Saturday night I stayed up all night listening and wanted to sleep in on Sunday. My stepfather came in the room me and my brother shared and he woke us up "Get up we're going to church." I had never dared to tell him no about anything, but I did on that morning. My brother who was reluctantly rubbing his eyes a moment before snapped to attention at this surprise. My stepfather was surprised. "Yes you are." "NO I'm not." I replied. He told my brother to get ready then turned away and left. Jesse looked at me with surprise. He has told me since that is one of his favorite memories of when we were younger. I hold it in a special place in my heart.
Alkaline Trio is the feeling of that fight to me. It's the weapon that allows me to stand alone in a sea of believers who are all trying to convert me to save my soul. It's not that there's a guideline in the words that says "don't be converted" or something stupid like that. It's that they realize the idea is so ridiculous that they can have a sense of humor about it. The knowledge that the entire religious world isn't like it is in Arkansas. The idea that there are options.
I spent most of my childhood around Conway, Arkansas. When I was around 13 I was still searching for music that completely grabbed me and screamed "I'M INSIDE YOUR SOUL!" I wasn't extremely interested in Metallica but was listening to a tape that my brother had at the time. I distinctly remember my stepfather telling me that that was the music that made "those teenagers kill those 3 little kids." At the time I didn't pay much attention to what was going on around me, I was much more focused on what was going on inside my mind. I didn't realize he was talking about the West Memphis 3. Years later I saw the first documentary, and being from Arkansas and a strange kid on my own I could (somewhat) sympathize with how the teenagers felt stuck in West Memphis Arkansas. The whole story really hit home and I made the connection with what my stepfather had said years before. I was surprised and excited to hear that my favorite band Alkaline Trio wrote a song about it all for their album "Crimson." It seemed like the perfect fit to me and only helped solidify their place in my life.
The first album that I bought was From Here to Infirmary. I searched online for music similar to other music I liked and somehow had come across cringe and sorry about that. I loved those songs, but I saw the video to stupid kid and loved it. (HAHA @ the devil kid and his crush.) I bought the album and that was the only song I listened to for months. I thought I had wasted my money. One night I was hanging out at my apartment and I had gotten smashed. I was looking around for music to play and I threw in the cd and it blew me away. It was the first time I really listened to the words and music. It became my favorite album, and is still my favorite album of theirs today. It's funny because stupid kid is probably in the lower half of my list of favorite tracks of the band. I read an interview once where the band said they were told that the song would make them famous and they didn't want to include it on the album but did anyway. Kinda funny how things work out. I know a few people who got hooked because of that song.
The first time I saw the band live was at The Warped Tour in Dallas, Texas. Me and my girlfriend drove there and made sure we were in the front of the pit area. I think the first song played was Armageddon. If not it was one of the first few. When the song started Matt had his earplugs in, but I think the excitement of the crowd is what caused him to say "fuck it," and a quarter of the way through the song he ripped them out and tore it up. I'm pretty sure this was during the touring for the album "Good Mourning." It was cool to be able to see them then when they still had a little bit of that attitude. From what I understand the drinking and screaming in some of the more intense songs caused the band members problems, and they've had to adjust in order to save the quality of their lives. Lots of people only like certain aspects of the band (earlier recordings) and I understand, but don't have the same attitude about it. My hearing is fucked because of all the shows I've been to, and they've played more than I've probably ever been to. I've seen the band quite a few times since then, and it's always a great show. Matt and Dan both sing better acoustically than they did before, and I think thats amazing considering that when a band has to change the way that they sing (stop yelling as much) a lot of times they don't seem to make the transition.
Anyway, maybe this is a lot of rambling. The main point I think is that at first it was just a basic love of the music but then somehow, more than any other band, they have become infused throughout my life with events that I had no control over. They've been my favorite band longer than any other and I don't see it changing. I hope they continue making music because I hate when I love a band and they only have a few albums. Even if they stopped today though, the catalog is more extensive than most of my other favorite bands. I love early green day albums, but they changed more than I did and can't really listen to anything after Nimrod. Dookie is my favorite album of all time.
Favorite ALK3 songs:
Mr Chainsaw
Cringe
Keep Em Coming
Madam Me
Steamer Trunk
Your Dead
Bloodied Up
Hell Yes
Fatally Yours
Donner Party (all night)
Old School Reasons
If we never go inside
Jaked on green beers
Warbrain
Dead End Road
I was a prayer
Back to Hell
Do you wanna know
Love Love Kiss Kiss
Into the night
Dine Dine My Darling
